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Reflections: Achievements and Lessons Learned

ME.NO.PAUSE CEO, we have finally arrived at the finish line. Winding down 2020, it is time for some much-needed reflection on what hard-earned lessons and victories this year has brought. 

Yes, I said it. Victories

Although this year was wracked with COVID-19, the fires of racial injustice, and the deep isolation of a long quarantine, there was still a small silver lining to it all. I have been steadily growing my network and building the Menopause Whisperer brand all of 2020 and am manifesting the opportunity to help out more new clients for 2021. More conferences, more workshops, on-line courses and growing the ME.NO.PAUSE Meet-UP ME-NO-PAUSE MEET-UP : Women In All Phases of Menopause Facebook group. 

All of this is well within my reach, and I can feel the tides of fortune upon me. And I want to invite you, dear reader, fellow Menopause CEO to take a moment to reflect on your personal accomplishments over the calendar year. 

Did you start a new job? Lose weight? Learn to meditate? Cut out sugar? All small positive lifestyle or environmental change counts. Positive psychology shows that showing gratitude and celebrating small wins enhances motivation and stimulates the feel-good dopamine system. This in turn can push us to want to achieve more and feel rewarded. A much-needed feel-good emotion for 2020 woes and perhaps a propellant for 2021’s goals.

Oftentimes this year we were just moving from one crisis to the next and it may not have occurred to you just how far you have come. This time last year, I had been thinking about my power word. I had settled upon FIERCE as my descriptor. I wasn’t fierce in the way I had planned but became fierce in a way that was needed to aid myself and my loved ones. I had expanded beyond my scope and vision.

At the onset of the pandemic, I had been fearful for menopausal women in the later stages of life because of the inherent health risks. But I rose to the occasion and became FIERCE in advocating for and providing food and care for my loved ones (friends and family). I was FIERCE healing my mental traumas from social injustice. 

Over the weeks, I posted and streamed weekly on various social media platforms and gave action steps through workshops and seminars that detailed how to be kind to yourself under mental pressure. I kept my business moving to service clients and grew my business while pivoting the Going Thru The Change strategy to educate menopausal women concerning all of their issues of concern, need and desire. 

In my journey I myself was RECLAIMING what it meant to be a Menopause Boss and became ME.NO.PAUSE CEO so I could pass on my teachings to my students and muses. I am revitalized and see my menopause as a superpower now. One that has gotten me through this year and empowered me to help out my greater community at large.

Here my 2021 challenge to you. I want you to review and reflect on your year. Look into the mirror of 2020. When you look in that mirror, I want you to see all the fabulous, beautiful aspects about yourself. Your achievements and wins unlock a different way of experience for your five senses. Really reflect to bring up those sensory answers which can be either literal or metaphysical:

Journal Prompts:

1.   What do you picture or “see” about yourself that is a victory?

2.   What do you hear or have heard about yourself that shows that you have grown?

3.   How do you experience the fragrance of your surroundings differently?

4.   Are there any achievements that you can physically “touch” now because they exist?

5.    What is a taste or flavor in your life that is different now versus earlier this year or last year?

I would love to hear your answers to the above questions down in the comments below or feel free to message me to share your wonderful reflections.

Have a great and purposeful year!

XOXO, THE MENOPAUSE WHISPERER® 

Celebrate the 2020 Holiday Season as a ME.NO.PAUSE CEO

We’re officially days away from the big day and predictably, this year will be looking rather different compared to the years prior. It has been a long road to the holidays. For some families, it may be extra painful this particular year without certain family members or friends around. There have been many casualties of COVID-19 and making hard choices will help ensure that you can secure many more years together with your loved ones. 

Despite everything that has gone down, it may be more important than ever to participate in some form of cheer even if it is just to have a symbolic close out to the end of this year. This post right here is my personal plea and PSA for all women but especially menopausal women because you are all my extended network. Please take time for yourself. I know personally, I’m making sure that I am in a healthy and relaxed state of mind in order to be able to maintain my emotional bandwidth. That way when I feel relaxed, I can pay special attention to my family and neighbors’ needs while staying safe. 

It has been a tumultuous time and it is ok to decompress and do whatever it takes to recover your mental health. From serving as matriarchs and pillars for your family to being caretakers of the community and the workforce, menopausal women do it ALL. Just as you invest energy and time into your responsibilities and loved ones, it is critical that you bring that full circle and pour that love back into yourself.

Tune into all the emotions that roll through your mind without judgment. Flesh out the negative emotions and thoughts about life and 2020 out on paper. Allow yourself to feel overwhelmed and make sure you monitor your stress levels (journal it out if in doubt!). If you’re feeling extra stressed out, take a long walk, or do some yoga (or other physical exercises). Watch your favorite TV show or call up an old friend to reminisce about your favorite memories. It will help get the serotonin and dopamine working to help boost your mood which will in turn reduce your stress levels and promote a better sense of wellbeing. 

Doing these activities will allow you to be more present and better equipped to handle the influx of holiday activities, whether it be personal or circumstantial. When you are feeling refreshed and if you feel comfortable doing so, step forth in the community and offer yourself up as a source of strength to others. Being in our position with our years of accumulated wisdom and lived-in experiences have equipped us to guide the young which is especially important this season when many may be feeling lost.

I hope some of the words I offered up above resonate with you. I highly encourage you to stay distanced and opt for video calls and limited interactions with family members. Make sure to follow CDC guidelines and have yourselves a wonderful and SAFE holiday. 

As always, my inbox is open if you ever have any questions. In addition, I invite you to check out my Menopause Bootcamp for 2021 where I will teach you the art of managing your menopause and vital skills to survive and thrive while going through the change. Join us on the journey to becoming a ME.NO.PAUSE CEO!!!

XOXO The Menopause Whisperer

Choose Wisely When Playing the Long Game

Over the last week, the number of COVID-19 cases has surged all across America in what is now the previously predicted second wave of the pandemic. This means that the world will once again be going into lockdown mode to weather the storm. The thought of being housebound for another few months is an understandably tough idea to shoulder. It brings up anxiety and impatience since a normal routine may now seem even further away than before. We see you, hear you, and are right there with you. 

In these hard times, I urge you to keep going. Keep up with your affirmations, prayers, routines, whatever it may be that gives you even the smallest sigh of relief or hope. Write in your gratitude journal, call your friends, take a bubble bath, eat good food. Nourish your soul.

Hang onto hope. Lean into your faith. These small gestures or rituals, whatever it may be, can make all the difference. My inbox remains open for anyone to reach out to in these trying times.

I also urge you to brush up on any self-care and related healthcare or medical paperwork. If you are currently uninsured, look into enrolling for healthcare under the Affordable Care Act for 2021 coverage. Enrollment was opened on November 1st, 2020 and will close on December 15th, 2020. In the wake of this crisis, it is more crucial than ever to choose wisely and make decisions about your coverage, especially for the upcoming year. This way you remain prepared for anything that comes your way. We may be playing the long game this winter so like a game play, we should evaluate and choose the best options for our needs. Health insurance is one of those things in life that really creep up on you and I myself recently had a rude encounter with the system.

Last week when I was choosing my new health insurance for the upcoming 2021 year, I neglected to examine the finer print. I accidentally chose a plan that didn’t cover one of my essential medications.

This led to my pharmacy informing me that my medication payment would increase to $1000 and then afterwards I would have to shell out $630 every three months. This was a crazy price hike from my current premium.

OUCH.

Needless to say, I scrambled to call my insurance representative so I could change to a plan which did cover all my medical needs. It was a stressful ordeal to say the least but I was able to get the matter resolved. The moral of the story? Please make your health-related decisions carefully and seriously. Read the paper/digital copies of your insurance policies and keep hard copies on hand, listen to your representatives attentively, and make your decisions with clear intention. Ask questions to your healthcare provider, friends, family, etc. until you fully understand all the terms and conditions. Inform yourself before you sign on the dotted line!

I would love to hear from YOU about some of your own close encounters with health insurance. What was the most difficult part and how did you manage to rectify those mistakes?

Comment down below!

As always, have a great and purposeful day!

XOXO, THE MENOPAUSE WHISPERER 

Thanksgiving and the Season of Gratitude

It’s turkey, cranberry sauce, and stuffing season — and this year the table may have looked a little smaller. In the wake of the second wave of COVID-19, people have canceled their journeys home in favor of quarantining to prevent further disease spread and protect their loved ones. Many may have found themselves either celebrating alone or with only immediate family. Others may be having a tough holiday having lost loved ones to the disease. It’s a tough pill to swallow after a long and hard year but we must remember the important things.

However far apart the distance, our hearts remain connected to our loved ones through the strength of our bonds. No one wants to head home to celebrate only to return and prepare for a funeral. Of course, calling off plans requires the sacrifice of forgoing Thanksgiving company and limited interaction. But this is for the greater good and there are still ways to take part in the cheer. Here are some considerations and alternative ways to celebrate gratitude without dining together. 

1. Continue having Virtual Meal Sharing throughout the weekend

Best practice would be canceling in-person gatherings altogether in favor of a Zoom virtual gathering. In light of the holiday, Zoom has lifted the 40-minute meeting restriction so everyone can mingle for however long they want. No table crowding, kitchen mess, or dishes to clean up after. Go ahead and spill all the family gossip and mashed potatoes you want; no one will see the gravy stains on your lap or notice your 4PM food coma.

2. Volunteering Safely or Donating to a Food Pantry

With the current dire economic conditions, many people are being left food-needy. Why not help your less fortunate neighbors by volunteering (socially distanced and safely) to pass out food supplies? That or making donations of extra canned food to a local donation place for distribution will make a big difference. If you want to avoid any risks at all, make a charitable donation to causes that need a little extra support this year. Share the love any way you can.

3. Plan a Cozy Night in With Takeout. 

Who says you have to celebrate Thanksgiving with all the pomp and circumstance? It’s perfectly fine to just call it a day, hang up the apron, and not cook at all. Treat yourself to some nice takeout instead, and support your local restaurants to help keep them afloat. Put on a Friends marathon or any Hallmark/Lifetime channels to add in some cheer. At this moment, they will most likely already have a rotating selection of holiday movies on for your easy binging. 

4. Drop off Socially Distanced Treats

Just because you’re apart doesn’t mean you can’t mail cards, care packages, or drop off doorstep pies. We can get more creative and artsy this year with our signs of affection. It’ll brighten up anyone’s day to receive an impromptu treat, and more importantly, you can show your affection and gratitude without jeopardizing anyone’s health.

For this week’end’s special journal prompt, go ahead and:


1. Speak or send a word of thanks to those we hold dear. Give them a call or send them some mail.

2. Write down what you’re most thankful for in your personal life.

3. Hold a gratitude prayer for how far you’ve come, making it another day, for your health, and for clarity of mind.

Have a great and purposeful Thanksgiving Weekend Holiday!

XOXO The Menopause Whisperer

Breaking the Menopause Glass Ceiling

Wow. It has been quite a momentous election cycle. What initially started off as an anxiety-inducing race ended with a major political upset and a shining moment in history for women. Kamala Harris has become the first black and Asian female Vice-President of the United States. In addition to breaking race barriers, Kamala serves as an exemplar for all menopausal women. Prior to the election, she served a long and distinguished career as District Attorney, Attorney General, and US Senator of California. Her ascent to the Vice-Presidency is a public rejection of the stereotype that menopausal women can’t be leaders. 

Although Kamala is the first woman to sit in the Vice Presidency, she is not the first to run for the White House. Her predecessor, Shirley Chisholm, ran for presidency as the first black and female major-party candidate in the 1972 U.S. general election. She was also the first black woman to win a seat in Congress. Shirley was in her prime and 48 at the time of her presidential campaign. Her prowess, eloquence, and graceful leadership in her long political career cast aside doubts of her ability during her 14 years of service in the House of Representatives. Shirley fought tirelessly and fearlessly in the pursuit of social justice and educational opportunities. As one of her most famous quotes aptly summarizes: “We must reject not only the stereotypes that others have of us but also those that we have of ourselves.” Her career was spent fighting, breaking the glass ceiling for women in politics, and challenging her male critics. Shirley is yet another example of the rejection of stereotypes of black and menopausal women, and a political ‘shero’. 

Both Kamala’s and Shirley’s triumphs show that menopausal women can and should be placed in positions of strength and power. When women, both young and old see them, they can now see the infinite possibilities laid out before them. These women have accomplished a feat that few have attempted or succeeded in — and paved a new legacy for all that follow after them. Too many times, society has implanted the idea that older women are capable of less but both these women’s marks in history are defiant of that outdated notion. Pause and let that sink in: Going through the change does not affect leadership ability. If anything, being able to lead while experiencing the effects of menopause is a sign of resilience. In spite of the emotional and physical turmoil we experience, as women, we can persevere and thrive in anything we put our minds to regardless of age.

Going off the momentum of last week, I think a great journal exercise for this week is to write down what you are capable of doing using the “I Am” statements. This written physical reminder will help set positive intentions and direct focus towards this week’s goals. Below are some of my positive affirmations/vows to myself.

Journal Prompt

I am…

  • An advocate for myself and my sisters of all races and creeds.
  • My own best friend and I will not allow my inner critic to get the last word.
  • Powerful, and will stop creating negative imagery of my Post-Menopausal Self.

Despite the daily turmoil we may be experiencing, we should remember that we are changing the world in our own right. Here are three reasons as to how you are changing the world and messages for you to carry on your journey…

#1: Each day your dreams are experienced by those you love.

#2: Each day you are full of visions of passion that keep you keeping on.

#3: Each day you walk the steps of a living legacy, your path is making a way for the current and next generation.

I would love to know, what are YOUR affirmations. How do you defy negative stereotypes and show yourself kindness? 

Have a wonderful and purposeful day.

XOXO, THE MENOPAUSE WHISPERER